Read On...An Excerpt from Writer Envy by Kerry Cohen at Gotham Writers' Workshops and WritingClasses.com

Read On...An Excerpt from <I>Writer Envy</I> by Kerry Cohen at Gotham Writers' Workshops and WritingClasses.com

THE LOST ART OF COMMUNICATION......

The art of communication streamlines as a life-supporting form, as it conveys a vital role in our daily lives.  We engage in countless interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our significant other and our children, our friends, future relationships and so forth.  These interactions occur where we live, work, relax and socialize; they are a part of our lives, present in all that we do.  

Communication skills are therefore captious for strengthening healthy, robust relationships; especially when one appreciates the growing demise of relational breakdown caused by lack of ‘proper’ communication.  One of the true arts of communication comes into play when navigating healthy communication skills through arguments, which at times can be quite daunting, perhaps even a destructive force to reckon with.  It is notable that the closer we are to someone, the more susceptible we are at lashing out or being lashed upon.  It is not always what we say rather, how we say it, that most often hurts another person.

The finite of communication is a vigorous and sometimes complex process; it is important to note that speaking consists of a small percentage, up to about 20%.  The other 80% combines one’s facial expressions, body language, tone of voice and so forth.  The mastery of eliciting the art of communication, drawing out one’s thought one’s idea, and in turn, effectively conveying the message from inside your mind to the mind of another person(s) is complex even challenging at times.  Effective communication must be a two-way process.  It must also incorporate ‘active’ listening skills.

Take a moment to peruse the following points outlining the dynamics of interpersonal communication.

1.   FACTS.  Be conscious that the communication you’re having with someone is based on the same facts.  It is equally as important to distinguish the facts from thoughts and/or feelings.

2.   INTERPRETATIONS/THOUGHTS/PERCEPTIONS.  We all interpret facts differently from one another.  Often the differences may rest in one’s belief system, cultural background, core values, personality, as well as life experience.

3.   FEELINGS.  The way we feel at the time, our current mood/state of mind, our perception of self-worth, and so on sub-consciously affects our decisions and thoughts immeasurably.

4.   INTENTIONS/NEEDS/WANTS.  We often judge ourselves on our intentions.  Henceforth, we seek comfort, clarification, affirmation, even hidden agendas…bottom line; we all need to interact with others.

5.   ACTIONS.  Attention to word selection (asks, is the intent to create harm?); the tone of your voice, awareness in non-verbal speech creates body language.  Here the importance rests upon one’s posture, eye contact, facial expressions, and so on.  The fashion in which the message is delivered is equally as important as the message itself.  Everything becomes inter-twined.

6.   SELF.  The communication hub-center, which includes the issue, topic or conflict at hand, has been ‘filtered’ by the facts, interpretations, thoughts, feelings, intentions, and choices of behavior/actions.  Try not to succumb to personalizing facts.   

From today onward, embrace current and new relationships! Utilizing the tools mentioned above, try to break free of faulty communication patterns allowing you more room for healthier and mutually prosperous interactions.   By implementing praise and positive reinforcement the outcome will wipe away any wounded or shattered self-images, while re-building strength in one’s self-esteem, especially where children are concerned.  Through enriching the effectiveness of your communication skills, you will undoubtedly grow and flourish into a better, even happier person.  This awareness and growth will positively enrich all your relationships – starting from within yourself.  

Much Love and Respect,
Xandra